Tips for parents

The loss of a young person can make parents consider the mortality and health of their own children, and those dear to them.  Below are two resources that I hope can be a reference to help the youth of our community, and our own families.

How to Help a Grieving Teen

The National Center for Grieving Children and Families has many tremendous resources.  I have linked below a link on six basic principles of teen grief.

http://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/how-to-help-a-grieving-teen/

Be Nice

What is Be Nice?  Be Nice is a mental health awareness, bullying and suicide prevention initiative that focuses on school-wide change through simple, daily actions.  This organization has some great ideas for helping parents, and the community as a whole, to care for the health of the youth of our community.   

www.Beniceonline.com

St. Jude Thaddeus is the patron saint of hope

We turn to St. Jude in times of need and for serious or seemingly hopeless causes — including depression, grieving, unemployment, and illness — and ask for his divine intercession.

In accordance with his surname, Thaddeus (which means generous, courageous, kind), Our Lord said, “He will show himself most willing to give help.”

As difficult situations arise in your life you can always send your prayers and petitions to the altar of St. Jude at the National Shrine of St. Jude.

St. Jude is traditionally depicted carrying the image of Jesus in his hand. This represents the imprint of the divine Countenance that was entrusted to him by Jesus. We are confident that our invocation of our most powerful patron, St. Jude, lifts our petitions to the God who always loves us. 

Prayer

Into your hands, O Lord,
we humbly entrust our brother/sister (deceased person).
In this life you embraced him/her with your tender love;
deliver him/her now from every evil
and bid him/her enter eternal rest.

The old order has passed away:
welcome him/her then into paradise,
where there will be no sorrow, no weeping nor pain,
but the fullness of peace and joy
with your Son and the Holy Spirit
forever and ever.
Amen.

O Lord, whose ways are beyond understanding,
listen to the prayers of your faithful people:
that those weighed down by grief
at the loss of your child (deceased person)
may find reassurance in your infinite goodness.
Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Tips on “What to Say”

From Dawn Anderson, pastor and facilitator for a Christian Survivors support group in Dallas, Texas.

What TO say:

I asked survivors what were the most helpful things people said (or that they wish they'd said) after their loss. Here is a sample of those comments.

"Tell me a good memory you have of my loved one."

"I can't imagine how much pain you're in. We hurt, too, because we loved him/her."

"I love you, and my prayers are with you."

"What a terrible loss for your family."

"The best thing someone could have said was NOTHING!"

"He/she had value; he/she will be missed; he/she was a good person."

"How can I help you today?" (Following through with errands, grocery shopping, cleaning, going to church with them, etc.)

"I am so sorry for your loss. Words fail."

"I'm here."

And even better, many of the survivors I surveyed mentioned that the best reaction was not words at all, but a hug. They talked about being comforted by the caring presence of friends, and the assurance that others were praying for them.

The best advice to anyone who wants to comfort a survivor is: "Show up, let them see you care, and respect the griever's right to feel bad for a while (guilt, anger, sadness, etc.). Too many survivors reported "friends" who avoided them altogether after their loved ones' suicides rather than to risk saying the wrong thing. Please don't do that, because that hurts most of all.